Ready or not

              As I sit here typing this post I can't help, but think all I have experienced these past 7 weeks. I have felt so many emotions as I have gone through this miscarriage.  The first 3 weeks were the hardest emotionally, physically, and spiritually, but I have felt my Heavenly Father's hand in my life daily. Two weeks after the miscarriage I thought I want to do the Indy half marathon.. I had a month to get ready, i needed something to do for myself to keep me going and to keep me from getting depressed. Running has done that for me. It was so hard at first, my body, my hormones, everything was so out of whack. At first I was having a hard time running, I was scared thinking I cant do a half, it would be a total failure if I even tried. Then I realized Satan was just trying to tear me down, and I am not one to give up. So I got new shoes, a new attitude, kept running, and kept praying that I would be able to increase my mileage and i wouldn't feel like I was going to die. Well it worked, I feel like I can now do the half. I am excited, nervous, and determined to finish and do my best.  After my runs I always say a prayer, one particular day I prayed for just one tender mercy. After that day I felt like my prayers were answered. I received two things, one was a business card of someone's contact info for William for a job lead, and another was I had a friend announce she was pregnant, and I was truly happy for them. That for me was a huge step, I have had the hardest time since the miscarriage seeing people announce they were expecting, and its not like I hated them for it, it was just like opening a wound. But I have felt  I have healed with running and the Lord's help. So tomorrow my run is a very emotional one for me, one of strength, perserverence, determination, and finally healing. Here's to doing hard things and not giving up!