My thoughts

As I type this my thoughts are all over the place. I am one who doesn't like the whole commercial side of Christmas. Some days I wish we could hibernate through the holiday, oh well it still exists. William was talking to Henry the other day about Christmas and he thought it was all about getting presents, Ugh exactly what I don't want my kids to think.. So William told him the real reason is to celebrate the birth of Christ. Our family truly has been blessed during this past year. Despite our circumstances, there have been tender mercies all around us. Ones that we see and ones that we don't see. I am truly grateful for all of them. I was contemplating the things I am learning from our experiences. I am learning that the Lord doesn't give us trials to turn away from him, but he gives them to us so we can turn to him for help, guidance, and comfort, peace, you name it.. I am learning to take each day as a day not to focus too far ahead in life, because that tends to stress me out. We listened to a Mormon add by Elder Christofferson one night and it made William and I reevaluate how we looked at the day. Here is the link http://www.mormonchannel.org/video/mormon-messages?v=2649255347001 . I am learning to give more than we have, we were asked to give more to fast offerings, at first I was annoyed because I felt like we were already giving more than we had, but I was willing to listen to our Branch Presidents council and try and give more. I am amazed at the kindness of those around us, I am amazed I am still functioning, at times I feel like I am a shaken pop and I am about to burst, but then I am given peace and comfort. I have found an outlet in running, it is a safe haven for me, when it snowed the other day I kind of freaked out because I felt like I wasn't going to be able to run outside anymore. I feel like that is one of the things right now that is keeping me sane.  Needless to say a warm hat, pants and coat is all you need. I am learning to be grateful the trails we are facing. These trials have brought William and I closer to each other, instead of away from each other. It has grounded me more I feel. I don't care as much about monetary things, yeah they are nice, and I desire some things, but I am happy with my family, and the things we are blessed with each day.Yesterday and today were kind of hard days. Yesterday was the three month mark of losing the pregnancy, but I don't expect anyone to remember, heck I don't even think my husband remembered, but I did, and it was hard. I don't know why.. I have been helping a friend who owns a pottery store in town during the holiday rush, it is really nice to get out of the house a couple times a week and be someone other than a mom and wife. I feel like I have more to give when I get home even if I am tired. My kids are excited to see me and I am excited to see them, and I am pretty sure William is relieved I am home. Today while I was working a young couple brought in their three week old little boy to do some foot prints on pottery.They had to change his diaper in back on the counter because they don't have a changing table in the restroom. Anyway the baby was so perfect, sweet, flailing arms, and it made me realize what a  tender mercy it was for me to see such a perfect little baby who literally weeks ago was still in Heavenly Fathers presence. It was almost like a little piece of heaven was there. There is some doubt in my mind about our future, but luckily it is replaced by peace, faith, comfort, and the gospel of Jesus Christ. I am so grateful for the tender mercies of others, they truly bless my life and my families life as well!