Feb 17, 2013

I am sure you are all wondering, why haven't the Hokanson's updated their blog in like 6 months, well no good reason just being lazy. Hopefully I can update it... Here goes nothing. Well as many of you know William interviewed with BYU-Idaho in January, it went really well. Baby E and I were able to go with him, which was fun just spending time with E, William, and myself. We found out a week later that he wouldn't be moving on with the other candidates. At first we were really sad...We felt like we were to apply for this job, we felt like there was a good chance of us getting it, then we didn't get it. I have to say it has shaken my faith just a bit. I was telling William the other day 75% of me knows it will be ok, the other 25% is having a battle with Satan.. I am trying to figure out the difference between promptings from the Holy Ghost and feelings and impressions I may have. I have come to realize a few things, promptings from the Holy Ghost come quickly. Example when I was prego with E I had a distinct impression that he was not our last child.. I think that when we have impressions it might be things that we are dwelling on or thinking about constantly. Example: I kept feeling like William would get the job at BYU-Idaho, i would pray about it, and I kept getting the feeling he would get the job. Hence when he didnt get it, it sent me to ponder how to tell the difference between the two. I can't say it has been easy, it has been discouraging, it has caused me to question my faith, my Heavenly Father's love for me, William, and my family. But last week we were talking about some of the tender mercies we have received. After interviewing with BYU-Idaho we changed our prayers to that if he was not to receive the job we would be the ones cut first, so we didn't have to wait until March. We were granted that, at the time i was discouraged, but really our prayers were answered not in the way we wanted but in the Lords way. This tender mercy allowed us to switch gears, get ready for a job fair in Oklahoma in March, and prepare William for this new adventure. I feel like it is a mental battle with my faith right now...What if a job doesn't come, what if all those things I have said to others about faith and the Lord will pull through as long as we are faithful doesn't happen.? Enough of the depressing stuff, I have come to realize even though I still feel discouraged I do know everything will work out, we are ready and willing to go where the Lord wants us to go. Having a job is a righteous desire of our heart, so I don't see why it wouldn't work out. That being said enjoy the rest of the posts!