Lifes hard lessons

Well lets just say after running my first half marathon I am not exactly eager to get back on the horse again.. Lets recap one day I was running and I remember someone saying it is good when you run long distances to run each mile for someone, so that got me thinking I was definately doing a couple of those miles for my mom who has MS. That was a given then my brain started thinking why don't you push you mom in a half marathon.... One thing led to another, I asked Austin my brother if he wanted to push half and I would do half. He said yes. I found an organization that loans out adult strollers for this purpose. Everthing was set. I got sick, not just sick but really sick. A week before the half I took Henry to the doctor to get checked for ear aches then the doctor listened to me and said that I was weezing. I didn't realize that. He gave me a steroid shot, a penicillin shot, and an inhaler. I was adament that I would be able to pull off the half let alone push my mom 6 miles. I prayed hard. By the time the race came around I was feeling better, my cough was gone, but my strength wasn't up to par. Plus I was really sleep deprived. The night before the race I have never experienced so much anxiety as I did that night. My chest was tight, I was almost panicking but I survived. The next morning was blah, I started to get excited telling myself you can do this you have been training for this. Don't give up. Austin, my mom, and I preceded to the very back so we could do the passing of people. The first 8 miles went by so fast. We alternated pushing her, but I finally gave out and was only able to push her about 3 miles. Austin pushed her about 8 miles and some random guy did 2. It was hard I wanted to give up. It was probably one of the hardest things i have ever done phsically next to child birth. But with child birth you at least have an epidural to dull the pain. I will be forever gratful to my wonderful brother who only planned on running a little bit covered my SLACK and helped me finish the race. I need to start running more again. I need to remember how free i feel when I am running, I need to get over the fact that ideally it was hard but worth it to see the happiness on my moms face as she did her first half marathon and finished...!!! we love you mom! Thanks for all you do...